jocelyn81 - 2016-05-08 11:59:51

I had felt sick after watching this so i went to the doctor and i discovered i had a brain tumor. That`s what Eiken is a brain tumor.

pkohler - 2015-09-01 17:40:41

....Oh boy, we got a bad anime today. Now this is a special kind of bad, one that you might or might not see a lot of, but at the time where it came out, people thought this was the worst possible thing to exist (or at least that's what I'd think?), and is it still the worst? IMO, not really. But this is pretty much bottom ten material, so let's talk about it I guess? No reason to stall, except every single reason.

Warning: Some of the stuff here might not be safe for work, viewer discretion is advised.

Story: Ok, so there's this guy name Densuke who just enrolled at the exclusive Zashono academy, the first thing that happens is he falls into the love of his life, the shy and beautiful Chiharu (and on top of her breasts to boot). And for some reason, this gets the intention of the mysterious Eiken Club, which the club members get him to join. Strangely enough, every other member is a busty co-ed, but the only one he's interested in is Chiharu, because reasons.

Actually, the real story is that there is a competition held at the school (in the beginning of the god damn semester) and that the clubs all have to compete for... actually I don't remember the prize for winning but its all basically glorified ecchi. And Densuke tries to win over Chiharu.

So as you can tell, this is a stupid fucking set up. There is next to no pacing, no character development, barely any world building in this whatsoever! Why even bother knowing the characters and why they are the way they are, or even give out some decent humor, let's just hurry on over to the competitions and get that out of the way. Because of that, you really can't root for anyone or give a shit about what's going on, assuming you can even get the story in the first place.

And when the show isn't focusing on that, they try to poorly add some drama and comedy, which isn't really worth mentioning, especially with all the fanservice it shows. They even use that in the competition, which is more gross than sexy.

There's a waterslide made of yogurt, a lazy river with eels and chocolate dicks- I mean bananas, a course where you go to the other side while holding a ball in predictable hijinks, the longest bungee jump ever, some challenge at the beach, and even another slide but with chocolate instead of yogurt and they ride on a banana floatie thing. I don't know if I missed any, but they're probably not even worth mentioning. Like I said, they take up the majority of the screen time and are probably the thing people remember the most about this show, that and the fact that it's exploitative.

The ending is basically what you'd expect in a show like this, bland guy gets the girl in the end even though we don't know why he likes her, why he gets her in the end, or why she likes him too after all the misunderstandings that happen between the two and having no chemistry. Maybe it would have been better if they had some connection, got to know each other before or during the competition, or at least have fun with their stupid premise instead of taking it seriously... I think?

Basically, there's no plot, story, pacing, or anything of the likes here. It's a filthy bland anime that might as well have been a hentai, then it wouldn't be as bad... I think so anyway.

Animation: Here we go, the main reason this anime is so infamous. The animation is really bad. My guess is the people working on this spent all their budget making sure the boobs and what not were perfectly animated to a T. But in doing so, they didn't even bother animated the characters other parts. The movements are stiff, lip syncing is off, facial expressions are just weird looking. How can anyone find this hot or funny?

Let's talk about those character designs, what the hell were they thinking when they made them? The girls heads are small, yet there melons are WAY TOO BIG! I guess someone didn't think it was big enough, so they increased the size to the fucking roof! If you look at some of these girls, you're probably thinking how the hell do these girls still have spines and walk straight with those tits being bigger than their butts!?

I think the worst offender has to be on this eleven year old girl who has the biggest rack of all, they literally spend seconds just showing how huge they are and it feels like an eternity. This isn't cute, it's awkward and gross :(

You know what the weird thing is? Almost every singly girl in this has much boobs except for one little girl (I don't see why not though, they made one little girl with giant knockers, did they run out of money? Ah who cares, at least our eyes can have a break). And one of the girls comments on how she has 'A-cup boobies' even though scenes show that the girl clearly doesn't have A cup boobies! 

Now granted, I'm not sure if she says the same thing in the Japanese or subbed version, but still, it's a pretty stupid... thing. Also, speaking of, there are plenty of stupid moments in the show, sometimes they show fanservice for no reason. Example, in the beginning where Densuke first meets Chiharu. He trips on a random banana (Ouran did that joke better), gets a glimpse of her panties, falls backwards, then for some reason lands on her breasts. What? Did the wind push him back or did someone push him onto her chest?

There's also this really infamous scene which figures one of the characters tripping (where do those bananas come from anyway?) and Densuke tries to catch her but gets crushed by the eleven year old with the large beach balls and then they fall at the same time with ramen flying and its in slow motion alongside really creepy music playing and... its unnerving and also really confusing. And what does this have to do with the story? I'll get back to you on that.

There's also a ton of pointless pantie and boob shots but I think you already know about that already. Overall, the animation is definitely the worst part of the show and is the reason why the show is so hated, it sums up almost all the problems the show has and if they didn't focus on it so much... would it be better but forgettable or worse with nothing to offer even the sickos who do get a kick out of this stuff? ...Also what the fuck's up with that bear thing? O_O

Sound: Hoo boy, the voice acting. I'm not sure if the Japanese one is any better, but I only saw the English dub of this so I'm gonna judge that. Now normally, I love watching dubs and prefer them over the subbed version most of the time, even if the dub isn't so good I'd still watch it. But this dub, is bad, really bad.

Everybody sounds really obnoxious and irritating in this, nobody seems to have any direction or much emotion, sometimes they go over the top and not in a good way. There are even times when they have trouble pronouncing words, including the god damn title of the show (ayken, ehiken, make up your mind you guys) and the main characters name (its not pronounced Den-su-keh its Dens-keh)! Probably the best/worst one is this one guy who sounds like Microsoft Sam only worse (but I'll get to him in a bit).

Then there's the music. I can't believe what I'm going to do here but I'm actually going to say something positive about this anime. Ok the opening is a terrible J-pop song with bland lyrics and its super forgettable, and that one song in the show is unintentionally creepy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efB2G3puh6Y

The ending song on the other hand is actually pretty good. It sounds nice to listen to and isn't annoying like the op or the other songs. Sadly I could only find the op on Youtube and not the ed, so you'll have to find it somewhere else on the internet for a listen.

Characters: There's the main character, Densuke, who is pretty much a generic main character. Dense, stupid, bland, and sometimes unintentionally a pervert. Nothing special here at all. Oh, and he cross dresses... WHY?

The other characters are pretty much one note gags and either have no purpose in the story besides there gags and chests or are painful to watch. Kirika loves to eat bananas because of course there phallic and shit, Kyoko uses inventions I think, there's this girl who loves showing off her panties, And a teacher who we don't know her name to and has an annoying voice. And don't even get me started on Komoe. Chiharu herself has no personality whatsoever so that is not to be mentioned. There are other characters but they're hardly worth mentioning.

The closest we get to a 'villain' named Shima (or that guy who sounds like Microsoft Sam), the previous champion of the games who wants to win the affection of Chiharu and also has maids and stuff. Also he's secretly bald and ugly, I don't know why that's important, or funny.

Enjoyment: The abridged series was kind of entertaining, but this is most certainly not. Literally this anime OAV does nothing right and has nothing redeemable about it whatsoever. Ok, there's the ending song and the fact that its only two episodes but that doesn't save a thing at all.

Overall: Truly this is a masterpiece... OF SUCK! Even if you love fanservcy types of anime, you're better off watching something else worth your while. I mean, even if this was a hentai I still wouldn't like it, but at least there'd be a reason why its the way it is! This anime is not recommended to anyone unless you want to lose a million brain cells and dignity.

Pros: Nice ending music

Cons: Everything else! Lousy story, shit pacing, gross as fuck fanservice, awful voice work, bad music, under developed characters, lame animation, bland backgrounds, bland everything gross everything, nothing everything! Wait... what was I saying again?

Also recommend: Going outside, taking a shower, thinking about life choices.

Also also recommend: Softenni, Ro-Kyu-Bu, Seitokai Yakuindomo (fanservice anime that's actually entertaining)!

Thanks for reading my 93rd review... sigh... I sure hope I don't get reported for posting these images :c

willow.haley - 2015-07-14 20:19:08

Eiken is easily the worst anime I've ever seen. 
The plot is nonexistent. I've seen HENTAI with more plot than this. Speaking of Hentai, why didn't they just make this one a Hentai? I wouldn't care about the plot if it was one.

The only thing that stands out about the animation is the absolutely HUGE boobs. Which are not realistic at all. I don't mind anime girls with a "unnatural" body, but it has a limit.

Nothing to say about the music, aside from the generic opening. The dub is PAINFUL to listen to. It's one of the worst anime dubs.

I can't talk about the characters because of how forgettable they are. Nothing special here. 

So if you want an anime with lot of fan service go watch DxD, Rosario + Vampire, or Ikki Tousen. I would rather recommend a Hentai than this piece of crap.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!

vrippin - 2015-06-08 17:18:53

(Adapted from my MAL review)

....How the heck is it physically possible for boobs to be this big? It's pretty much the main thing wrong with Eiken. However, there is more than humongous watermelons that could make an anime THIS bad.

Okay, so this anime, Eiken, is about a boy named Densuke Mifune. He joins a club, known as the Eiken Club, and most of the girls in the club - no, most of the girls in this entire anime - have impossibly large breasts. I mean, seriously. I know that there are two B Gata H Kei characters with F-cup breasts, but this is ridiculous!

Does Eiken have a lot of plot other than huge breasts? No. Just too much ecchi than what can be handled, and I can handle most ecchi anime! It's nothing but boobs, boobs, and more boobs. Did I mention boobs?

Ahem. Well, let's talk about things other than Eiken's "plot". The art and animation isn't TOO bad; it's animated by a decent studio, J.C.Staff, after all. They just have too much boobs in the art. The OP and ED themes are respectfully known as "Feel Like Our Days" and "Jewel's Memory", both performed by a singer known as Toko, and they're both decent, as well. The voice acting for the characters are below average (and I'm saying this after watching both episodes in English), but they're not as bad as the characters themselves.

The characters. THE CHARACTERS. There is even one that is supposedly in 6th grade, but she has the BIGGEST boobs I've ever seen! (I should really stop saying that word.) All of the female characters just want to get it on with the main character, Densuke, who is actually bad himself. Who does he remind me of who is also a bad anime character? I dunno. I hoped that I would come to like Densuke's love interest, Chiharu Shinonome, but she turned out to be such an uninspired character!

So yeah, I did NOT like Eiken. I suggest you only check it out if you're a big pervert who just LOVES girls with big racks. The rest of you? Stay as far away as possible; these mere 2 episodes aren't worth your time.

sbeer - 2014-09-27 23:35:45

Breast anime ever! Seriously, i've never seen anything so interesting. This tops fullmetal alchemist and boku no pico anyday. Even tom said it was great. 

wdenesik - 2014-05-26 01:27:51

A true work of postmodern art. With amazing animation and heavy meaningful symbolism, this work of narrative perfection never fails to impress.

hstrosin - 2013-11-10 06:35:14

It's pretty weird for me to write a review for something, but I feel like peeps be giving Eiken a little more flak than it actually deserves.

I watched it in a sitting, purely to see exactly how bad it really was, and I have to say, I was not disappointed. Eiken is hilariously exaggerated and really really stupid, but as a teenage girl who's not really into ecchi for "that" kind of reason yet, I thought it was pretty funny how blunt the show was about its fanservice. I almost prefered it to other shows that are full of it because it doesn't pretend to be about anything other than cramming as many lewd and fetish-y things into an hour of screentime, and you know what? I can respect that.

Outside of my opinion, there is very little outside of a mini arc and romance story-wise, so I'd give it a 2 for at least having one that has a conclusion and everything. Again, this is a 2-episode almost-hentai. (The entire show is basically one big boob joke.) so you can expect some nicely animated "areas", however the budget obviously went towards this, so the rest of the show's environment is pretty lacking. I'd give it a 4. Sound? I really only noticed two or three tracks in the background, but they weren't awful, and the op and ed were standard fare. Voice acting in the dub was horrendous, and I can't speak for the sub, and any effects given were passable. Characters are a 3, because although they are all quite 2-dimensional and fairly uninteresting, for a two episode series, there is a pretty sizeable cast and they all at least are given a stereotype. Except for Kuma, I don't even know what he is. Enjoyment is a 5. It was amusing in it's own creepy little way, but I wouldn't watch 10 more episodes of it.

ahills - 2013-09-16 04:30:32

Worst anime I've ever seen. Throughout the entirety of the show, I never even cracked a smile once. It's all fanservice, but it doesn't even get that right. Its character designs are revolting. As for the rest of it, it's characters are all awful, there is no story, at all, sound is largely boring, and the dub is just plain bad (and I am one of those who prefer dubs to subs). Overall, there was no enjoyment whatsoever. Just avoid, horrible waste of an hour.

jade.ebert - 2013-03-26 06:36:10

A comedy, harem, ecchi series of two OVAs based on the manga of the same name, Eiken is, to put it bluntly, over-the-top, offensive, garbage. Now, I do enjoy a good ecchi anime every now and again, and there are actually quite a few top-notch and highly enjoyable anime that can get quite raunchy. Unfortunately, Eiken fails in all aspects and ends up as bottom-of-the-barrel fish paste not worthy of being called fish paste.

Eiken's plot would make more sense had one come in reading the manga, however, I will be approaching this story from the point of view of someone that has not read the manga. The protagonist is Densuke Mifune, an average, earnest student at the school for the incredibly well-endowed and member of the Eiken club; a club that seems to have various goals, but mostly exist to give Densuke an excuse to hang out with busty and beautiful bodacious babes and get in erotic and, supposedly humorous, situations. These girls are fine and all, but Densuke really has his eye on, who else, but the most attractive girl at school, the red-headed Chiharu Shinonome. Throughout the course of the the two-episode OVA series, Densuke enters a local competition involving risque events in order to earn enough money to purchase a gift for his crush, gets in misunderstandings, attempts to ward of his sister, gets in misunderstandings, encounters a potential rival to Chiharu's affections, and gets in misunderstandings. So, in all in all, a typical plot for a couple of episodes of any harem. This is not bad, but what is bad, is the execution.

Eiken has fan-service in butt-loads, and breast-loads for that matter. The entire series is wrong in numerous ways, and while ecchi anime now-a-days have gone farther, Eiken is still up there and as pretty messed up and perverse. The fan-service really pushes it, I even found some of it offensive as a woman, and I'm a man. However, the thing, or should I say things, that I found to be the greatest flaw in this series, is the breasts. Now, I like huge 'talent', but some of the girls in Eiken are not girls, they are paired-up beached whales with tails in the shape of a girl's body. Eiken, if anything, is a huge spit in the face at the laws of physics and body shape. Beyond the insane character designs, the animation was not that bad. Not good, but not bad either. The same can be said of the soundtrack. It's not bad, but it's forgettable. At least it was not an assault on my ears as much as the show was an assault on my eyes.

Beyond animation and sound, Eiken is terrible. It attempts to be comedic, but it's jokes fall flat and are meant to do nothing more but provide more fan-service. At times, Eiken even seems to be a parody of the harem genre, purposely making fun of the tropes often associated with harems. However, the way Eiken approaches it, is similar to putting crap on a stick and saying, "Hey! Look! This is the harem genre! Hur hur hur!" This is good for a few laughs, but in the end, it's still only crap on a stick; it's going to stink and you're going to be left awkwardly holding a dirty stick.

To summarize, Eiken is a disaster of an anime. However, I actually recommend watching it, if only to see how horrible an anime could truly be, and in effect give you a better appreciation for all anime series that are not Eiken.